#(if you say it to an adult you are basically telling them they’re being childish)

[shoutsindwarvish]

in his dvar torah last night, my rabbi said that his mother still half-jokingly tells him every time he leaves after visiting to “be good and don’t talk to strangers” and that it’s a translation of something his family originally said in yiddish for generations

which i found really funny because my family has a saying that has been passed down through generations (originally in yiddish) where if someone (usually a child) is whining about something very low-stakes to jokingly tell them to “hit your head against the wall” because then you’ll have a new problem and won’t be as concerned about the old one

(to be clear this is a genuinely fond memory and if you actually tried to hurt yourself you would be stopped. the point was to make you be like “i would rather have my current problem than do that” and change your way of looking at it. it was usually met with either a laugh if you realized you were being silly or an eye roll if you weren’t in the mood.)

i only found out it was originally in yiddish at my grandma’s shiva. (her mother-in-law is the one who said it all the time and passed it on to my grandpa and my mom and aunts.) makes me wonder just how long my family’s been saying it and who started it.

anyone else have any family sayings like this that have passed down through generations?

[sunny-knight]

Papyrus, and Death. ESSAY TIME!!!

I strongly believe that Papyrus is going to be revealed to be a young kid in Deltarune, due to the way Sans refers to leaving his brother alone with a “stranger” is “irresponsible”, and in the same breath, acknowledging that inviting a kid to his house to hang would be “weird” cause YEAH. an adult and a child vibing alone would be strange. (unless they’re family or something- BUT LIKE YOU GET ME.) But a kid and a kid?? Hell yeah.

But SOME people think the way Sans hypothetically talks about his adult brother is warranted. In Undertale, this wouldn't be too far fetched! Papyrus basically behaves like a child while being around adult age.

Now. Okay. I have a problem with that.

Papyrus. Yes, enjoys childish things, often denies the truth, and believes people when he shouldn't. But, this does not mean that his brother would have any reason to treat him like he has to keep an eye on him 247, if Papyrus being a small child is not the case.

Papyrus being ignorant about everything is a misconception that is built around the fact that he DOES seem to play dumb a lot, simply because he thinks stuff is normal when it's not. Such as him flying, Sans teleporting, not sleeping, general stuff along those lines.

But, what I want to focus on is the most often used “evidence” towards this misconception of his character. Is that he doesn’t know what death is, or that he doesn’t know when someone has died because of how “innocent” he is.

During the genocide route, peole often see Papyrus as being clueless to the danger he's putting himself in. That completely bastardizes his “fight”, and his entire character. Papyrus knows you can (and probably will) kill him, proven by how he talks about how scared shitless we was after you spare him. He knows he might die trying, but he is going to try and change your mind anyway, because he believes in you. He believes bad people can change. Hell, during the Pacifist route, he’s proven right!!! bad people can change… LOOK AT FLOWEY???

And, him asking you to bring back Undynes friends in one of the neutral run phone calls, isn't him thinking you didn’t kill them, it's more likely him asking you to RESET. We’ll get back to that later.

First I want to get this little thing out of the way. Papyrus not being told about his friend's death when he's forced to become leader. This translates into… not understanding death whatsoever?? It seeming OBVIOUS to anyone that they died and he is being lied to.

I feel like this is very much not a result of him being “childish”, just a result of his unwavering trust, which can be certainly admired in a lot of ways, but of course, used, too.

Even if people agree with me on that unwavering trust part, people still use that as ammunition for Sans lying to him being an often occurrence. Sans… right now- is being put in a REALLY bad spot. Telling his brother to his face that all his friends are dead isn't something I think anyone wants to do. So, him lying to Papyrus isn’t exactly proof that he thinks little of him in any way, it's more his desire to protect a person he loves from knowing a horrible truth, and having the opportunity to do so on a silver fukn platter.

And, on the topic of Sans lying to Papyrus…keeping resets away from Papyrus seems semi reasonable considering the whole King Papyrus thing-

But the things Papyrus says say otherwise to him being COMPLETELY ignorant. Like, in the neutral ending phone call about Undynes friends deaths.

How much the people who know about resets- KNOW about resets, is heavily debated. But the main thing is that Sans has undeniable proof that someone is fucking with the timeline, and you acting like youve done everything before, aint helping your case.

What I think would make more sense considering everything we've gone over about Papyrus, and Sans’ characters/ relationship…would be that Papyrus DOES know that time is repeating, and still enjoys life to the fullest (like sans) BUT also has BIG dreams of the future (unlike sans)

The future might not ever come, but he's like “nah it will, just you wait”

AND…HE'S TECHNICALLY PROVEN RIGHT ABOUT THAT TOO??????

ALL of Papyrus’ big ideals that seem foolish and ignorant, are up to you. Do you want to prove him right or wrong?

Are you going to kill, or spare him in the genocide run, showing him bad people can change?

Are you going to DO the pacifist route and STAY THERE, giving he and his friends a future?

Are you going to reset, and bring back Undynes friends?

Doesn't matter. Because some people prove him right, and that's all that matters. He believes it can happen, not that it will.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i do think sometimes people think special interests are like. having an interest that is very big. and yes that is part of it. it’s the most obvious one to an outside observer. but, like, that in and of itself isn’t a special interest. neurotypical people can get incredibly into hobbies. and i think it’s important to keep in mind bc i've started seeing people go around saying really ableist shit about special interests again bc they view them as just very intense hobbies but like. they’re not.

autistic people do not choose their special interest, for one. like, i've seen a lot of disdain and downright hatred for people who have special interests in “childish” things going around and like… no, autistic people don’t have “childish” special interests because they refuse to learn media literacy or whatever. a lot of people's special interests come from their childhood- of course an eight year old isn’t going to be consuming media aimed at adults, and like, autistic children grow into autistic adults? they don’t just shed their special interests. special interests can change over time, absolutely, but they also sometimes, like… don’t? that’s not something an autistic person can control. and even if it’s something they got into later in life… it’s actually very normal for adults to like. not solely engage in “mature” things. like for one parents exist. and older siblings and cousins and just in general like. most adults have child relatives somewhere in the family tree and like, spend time with them? but even with that aside like, well adjusted adults don't aggressively reject anything they consider childish. adults have had nostalgia forever. adults have enjoyed animation and games and other “childish” things forever. who do you think makes kids content? passionate adults.

and i've also seen a lot of disdain for autistic people just having objectionable special interests and like. okay but they literally cannot control that you know that right. they can control the way they engage with it obviously this isn’t an excuse to like, be an asshole or a bigot, but also like… you can’t really consciously stop having special interests even if you don’t engage in it you’ll have thoughts on it and process things through the lens of it it’s not something consciously controllable. like do you think i'd choose to think about nothing but extremely dark psychological horror minecraft child abuse like no that’s fucking weird as shit. i actively dislike one of the two creators involved but i physically cannot stop thinking about his stupid roleplay i have tried to stop and it lead to me self harming bc i couldn’t and the thoughts distressed me very badly.

on that topic- yeah, trying to “break” a special interest not only doesn’t really work bc it’s not like. a hobby. it’s something we constantly think about and a way of making sense of the world. it’d be like trying to get rid of depression by never allowing yourself to think of sad things like that’s not how it works. it also can be fucking dangerous. coping mechanisms exist for a reason, and throwing them out with no replacement or actual help involved can fuck you up for life. you're likely to either have a complete breakdown or get infinitely more unhealthy coping mechanisms. and while special interests aren’t a one to one analogy to coping mechanisms they’re closer to that than a hobby let me tell you. i see so many posts telling autistic people that they have to “break” problematic or even just fucking “cringey” special interests and like. bro 99.99% of the time it is not worth self harming or being institutionalised over. because that’s like, what happens if you deny yourself access to a tool that allows you to access the world? like please stop so flippantly basically asking autistic people to risk extreme burnout at best bc like. the creator interacted with someone who turned out to be a terrible person ten years ago with no reasonable way of knowing that. like c’mon. y'all just wanna see autistic people suffer and are wrapping it up in progressive coatings like take a LOOK at yourself.

like, sorry. you think it’d be so easy for this website to not be ableist. but no you’re back to just spreading flagrant misinformation about autism to try and sound better about yourself. like, are there some shitty autistic people who use their autism to be bigots? yeah, duh. but using that as an excuse to mock autism as a whole is completely fucked up. we can’t win unless we fight against ALL bigotry, and that means while bigoted autistic people are acting unacceptably using ableism to combat them only helps perpetuate those systems of harm. call out the bigotry, not a person's existence. and for gods sake, stop treating “likes the owl house” as a moral failing equivalent to that like no media literacy isn’t dead bc autistic people are cringey you’re just looking for smart sounding ways to justify treating disabled people as if they’re degenerating humanity and like. treating disabled people as if they’re degenerating humanity has a history that’s pretty incompatible with like, anti fascism and fighting for equality.

[dreamless-daydreamer]

TBB as Taylor Swift Songs - Song+Character Analysis… Part One

(Part two) (Part Three)

Okay so the writers told us that last Crosshair is Bad Blood and Wrecker pre-chip removal was Shake it Off.. But I needed more, so here it is.

Hunter - The Archer

I almost gave this to Omega, and it could easily be hers too, but I thought the lyrics ring true for Hunter, especially in season 2

Combat

I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do

Throughout season two, Hunter struggles to balance being a soldier and being a brother/father. He wants to lay low and avoid contact with the empire, but he knows that taking these jobs are the only way to survive. He’s unsure about settling down on Pabu because as much as he wants to provide a stable live for his family, they’re still soldiers, aren’t they?

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold onto you

This line is commonly just interpreted as someone being childish and never becoming an adult, whereas for Hunter it reads that he, alongside his brothers never had a childhood. The clones were basically soldiers as soon as they could walk. Because of this Hunter puts in so much effort to make sure she has the childhood they didn’t get.

We see the stress start to bear weight on Hunter in Season 2, he spends most of the season in a state of depression and he’s not as close to Omega as he was in the previous season. We watch him grow jealous as she spends more time with Phee, and we see him throughout the season always close to her, but not conversing with her nearly as much as he used to, he wants to be with Omega and spend time with her, but he feels so much pressure to be a perfect father that he struggles to do anything more than trail behind her.

Dark side

I search for your dark side

Hunter, but also the entire batch, minus Omega, have evident trust issues. Hunter has a hard time accepting help from others, and it clearly takes a while for him to trust Cid, and Phee. He’s waiting for them to turn on him, and Cid eventually does.

You can tell that Hunter struggles with the reveal that Crosshair removed his chip. He has a hard time accepting it at first, and by season two he’s accepted it, and as such doesn’t believe that Crosshair really defected from the Empire.

Screaming, who could ever leave me darling?

But who could stay?

In the first season, Hunter struggles with what to do with Omega. At first he instantly wants her to stay with them, because she’s their sister, she belongs with them. But then it becomes glaringly obvious that Omegas a child, and doesn’t belong with soldiers. He tries to send her away, for her own safety but also because of his own fear that he can’t take care of her.

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

As Crosshairs words of doubt ring true in Hunters ears, he takes upon himself on a growing pressure to do everything right, to always make the right call, to keep his family safe. He grows anxious and closed off from his family, but we see that he always tries to put on a brave, kind face for Omega. And yet as soon as she turns away we see how tired he is. He’s scared to fail the way Crosshair told him he had. Crosshair saw right through him, Hunter sees right through himself, and he’s scared that Omega will see through him too.

The Archer is a song about anxiety and that in of itself relates it to Hunter, but Taylor’s musical genius shines in this song in that the music never drops. It builds and builds and builds, but never hits a breaking point the entire song. This is how we see Hunter in season two. His anxiety and stress builds and weighs him down, but he never breaks. He bottles it in, refusing to crack. Even when Omega is taken at the end of the finale, he’s angry, but he’s cold and reserved in his anger, instead of the rage and grief we know he’s feeling on the inside.

Okay, I was planning on having multiple in one but this actually might take so long I might have to do one post per character. I’m also planning on doing a song for relationships between characters . I already have an Idea for Crosshair and Hunter’s song(I bet you can guess what it is.)

[fanby-fckry]

You know what gets me about the whole, ‘Niffty is a child because she’s short and flat-chested with a big eye and occasionally has childish mannerisms’ thing?

Aside from the difference of having 2 big eyes instead of 1, you just described me.

I’m a grown-ass adult. I’m 25. I’m 4’11” with A cups (although I’d really rather not even have those, so I wear a sports bra or bind and wind up looking even flatter most of the time).

I have ADHD, and possibly autism. I personify objects like blankets or stuffed animals. I sing to myself, I fidget and stim, I sometimes struggle with telling what is/isn’t a joke or taking things literally.

I’m playing catch-up on learning basic skills like cooking and cleaning because I was neglected by one parent and overly sheltered by the other. I struggle with completing tasks on time or doing them without very specific instructions.

All these things look like childish behaviors in the wrong light.

I can very easily imagine myself being described as ‘uwu sweet child, can’t do anything by themself, needs to be taken care of, so innocent, so pure, literally baby, don’t ship them they’re so child-coded,’ if I was a fictional character.

Again. I’m 25.

I don’t need or want to be infantalized, and when I see people saying this shit about Niffty (a grown-ass, 22 year old woman who happens to be short, flat chested, big-eyed, and a little childish) I can’t help but think:

Wow. If that’s what they think of her, then what do they think of me?

[je-lurk]

Tips and Tricks to Smooth Your French Translations (When You Don’t Speak French) - a Focus on French-ifying Your Characters

"Oui/Non", "ouais/nan" and variations

Today’s section will broach adverbs of affirmation and negation, as well as their variants, and what their subtext is.

"Oui" and "non" mean, as you probably already know "yes" and "no". So why am I dedicating an entire section to them?

These two words are often used in English dialogues as an easy reminder that one of the characters is French and perhaps does not have a good grip on the language.

Let me tell you, I have never heard in my life someone forgetting the words "yes" and "no". Even people who can’t string a sentence together know what they mean and can use them.

What we can do instead is framing it as a slip. My fellow friends who speak two languages or more know what I’m talking about. When you’re speaking another language, especially when you know enough to understand and speak basic sentences but are not all the way to bilingual, your brain shifts a bit (I don’t have a good way to say it, sorry) so, when you shift back, the words that will come out of your mouth are the first one that comes in mind, and it’s not necessarily in the right language.

Having said all that, why do I get so annoyed at "oui" and "non"? It’s because, to qualify as a slip, it has to feel natural, the first thing that would be said in an informal setting. It is most often not. Allow me to explain:

"Oui" and "non", like "yes" and "no", are formal. These are the words you would hear in a presidential debate, for example. In more casual settings, prononciations tend to diverge.

Which gives us things like "ouais", "moui", "mouais", "nan", "na" (so basically "yeah" and "nah" with varying degrees of pronunciation accuracy), that cover a large array of nuances.

"Ouais" and "nan" have no real nuance behind the tone it is said with but, again, they denote casualness. They can be used to show that you’re character is Chill™, or that they feel at ease in the situation or with their interlocutor(s).

"Moui" and "mouais" (for "yes") are not exclusively positive. Think "mh yes" and "mh yeah" condensed into one word. Needless to say, they are not in the dictionary.

"Mouais" is generally used to agree with something you’re not particularly happy about, or to agree while still having a reserve. You will often hear "mouais" said with a commiserating, a resigned (in a "well, we have to do this, we’re all in it together" kind of way) or a baffled tone.

"Moui," on the other hand, indicates all sorts of shyness, ranging from fake modesty to getting caught red-handed and being ashamed of themself. It can also be in a resigned tone, but this time in a "a child has to do something because their parents told them to, and worst of all they’re right" kind of way.

Examples:

A: "I really don’t like this girl, but you have to admit that she does excellent work."

B: "Mouais…"

B has to agree. She really does a good work. B is annoyed that someone they don’t like is able to do well. Alternatively, B is commiserating with A.

A: "B! You left the cupboard open again! I told you a thousand times, stop doing that!"

B: "Moui…"

B feels guilty because they did forget to close the cupboard. Since it’s just above A’s field of vision, A took the corner of the door at full (walking) speed, right in the forehead. Again.

"Na" is different from "nah". It’s a bit childish, you don’t hear many grown adults say that, even jokingly. It’s a full shut down, and leaves no place for discussion. It is generally followed by an exclamation mark.

Example:

A: "B, it’s time to do your homework."

B: "Na!"

This one is self-explanatory. B is a child that doesn’t want to do their homework. The following discussion will not be a reasonable one.

To wrap this up before we leave the "vibe zone" and enter the academically correct French territory, let’s try all of our options with one sentence:

A: "Hang in there, the holidays are almost there!"

B: "Oui/Ouais."

That is a fact. B feels rather neutral about this. We could extrapolate and say that there is still a week of work left, but there is also only a week of work left. B uses "ouais" with a colleague he gets along with, and "oui" with a boss or a colleague he doesn’t see that much. Choosing the right word is a matter of respect, ease/proximity, and expectations.

"Non" and "nan" work the same as "oui" and "ouais".

B: "Oui/Ouais !"

B is living for their holidays. They can’t clock out soon enough. Choice of word is the same as above.

B: "Mouais."

B is unconvinced. B has a lot of work to do before leaving. B might just be in a little bit of a bad mood. Or A leaves the same day as B and they both know it’s not that fast-approaching.

B: "Moui."

Same as above. B is a slightly more disgruntled.

B: "Mouais !"

B is a little more convinced, but not fully on board. It’s a nice thought to have from time to time, but it gets easily forgotten. It’s definitely not what pushes B through the day. Could also be full-on sarcasm.

B: "Moui !"

That’s right! B hadn’t thought about it. B is probably going to forget about it in half a minute.

B: "Na."

B’s holidays are far from happening. How dare A shove their paid leave in B’s throat? B has one wish, and it’s to go home and sleep for 24 hours straight. People have no respect, these days. B’s last holidays were 6 months ago, and the next one are probably next year.

Academically correct French territory:

I still need to introduce one little word that is extremely important: "si".

"Si" has multiple meanings but, you guessed it, we’ll focus on the "yes" one.

There is one major difference between "oui" and "si", and it’s when to use them.

In French, these are the words used depending on the previous statement:

To confirm a postive statement: "oui" ("yes")

To infirm a positive statement: "non" ("no")

To confirm a negative statement: "non" ("no")

Looks like a pattern, right?

To infirm a negative statement: "si" ("yes")

Well that’s French, for you, can’t trust it.

The thing "si" does is emphasize that we are negating the negative statement in order to make it positive. We’re highlighting the fact that "nope, you’re wrong, have no doubt about it". "Si" makes it extremely clear, there are no hesitation in the interpretation of the answer. I love this word.

Example:

A: "You didn’t eat/Didn’t you eat?"

B: "Si, why do you ask?"

French also often repeat the "si", as in "si, si !"

It’s clear as day, it’s beautiful.

END OF SECTION 2: "OUI/NON", "OUAIS/NAN" AND VARIATIONS

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[nutal]

Okay, before i start to explain on what the HEIGH is going on inside my tiny little cranium of mine, the Adam angst (my headcanons) I invented is pretty much inspired by multiple stuff on tumblr, so it may not really be original + it may age as bad as milk (tho idk if it really matters, the angst was just made for fun and nothing else, im just here to share my imaginary scenarios with u + i started typing this whole ass paragraph essay at school + it may prob go against canon but these are just theories for fun soooo ye here we go)

T W: intense angst, may delve in some serious topics

Lemme start off my storytelling with the magical, splendid place that is so-called “The Garden of Eden” This is the place where Adam and Lilith were born from the very specks of dust (a very splendid way of saying that they just *POOF*, appeared out of nowhere).

Now since Adam and Lilith were God’s creation, it’s pretty obvious that the both of them would be prideful and childish, even if Adam and Lilith were created as adults (not really their fault, they were barely just created and are just babies in adult bodies about to be traumatized later on in life + they’re kinda in a forced marriage when u think about it)

While Adam (the dumbass) was like: “I do what I want UvU” in a dumbass, but funny way, Lilith was like: “I do what I want UnU” in a more subtle and feminine way.

I can just imagine Adam being like: “Yo, Lilith, I’m gonna climb up that tree bc i want to!” and Lilith being like: “Bro, no, you will literally fall off of it, because you don’t even know how to climb, you fucking dumbass.”

Adam climbs up the tree anyway and falls flat on his face and Lilith just face slaps herself bc Adam is a dummy.

One day, Adam and Lilith would meet the angel “Lucifer”, basically Luci wanted to visit the humans bc he was curious. Of course, the 2 would be really excited to meet Luci, and they would have a lot of fun together, playing games and such, especially Lilith, who basically all of her attention to Lucifer, ignoring Adam’s existence completely. Even to the point of ghosting Adam for days just to hang out with Lucifer. Adam would notice this, and decides to confront Lilith about this.

Adam keeps asking her why she has been so distant with him, but Lilith keeps denying, being like: “Dude, stop being so controlling! Mind your own business, and stop being so paranoid!”

Adam: “BRO, EVER SINCE YOU’VE HANGED OUT WITH LUCI, YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR DAYS ON END WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME ANYTHING! ARE YOU NOW WITH LUCI OR SOME SHIT?!”

In a moment of absolute annoyance and fury, she snapped: “WELL, MAYBE I AM! HE’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU AND I LIKE HIM WAY MORE THAN I EVER LIKED YOU!”

At that moment, Adam was just… stunned. Those words coming from Lilith hurt deeply.. and i mean, REALLY deeply, not only because it hurt his ego, but he actually really liked Lilith, so hearing this, it really just, destroyed him.

Lilith: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAY!” As Lilith fled from The Garden, Adam yelled at her in the distance, trying to hold back his tears: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU EITHER!”, turning his back to the opposite direction and crying silently.

After the incident, God decided to give Adam a second chance, in exchange for a rib (Adam’s rib), and created Eve. His second wife. Now Eve, Eve was a little more special. While Lilith was more upfront and independent, Eve was the opposite, being dependent and really sweet. At first, Adam would be cautious at first, but eventually, starts to fall in love again, in fact, he fell harder for Eve than Lilith.

Lilith’s abandonment pretty much caused him to not only be really protective towards Eve, but also more affectionate and caring. Cherishing her more than his first wife. He was happy again.. at least for a while.

You see, in The Garden of Eden, there was a mysterious tree, to which there was something whom God warned Adam and Eve not to taste from: “The Fruit of Knowledge”. Not only did it grant free will to whoever takes a bite from the apple itself, but also show them the difference between right and wrong.

Eve, being as sweet as she was, was also very curious about the apple, but Adam would always warn her NOT to eat the apple. Ever. Eve would beg him to let her take at least take one bite from it, and maybe even Adam taking a bite too, to which Adam always said: “No.”

Eve: “Please?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Pleeaassee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Plllleeeeeaaaasseee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PlleeEEEEAASSEE?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS-“

Adam: “NO.”

Eventually, one day, Adam would wake up to see that Eve was not next to him. He starts having a panic attack and tries desperately to look for her. Meanwhile, Eve just decided to stay next to a tree, being pretty upset that Adam wouldn’t let her taste the apple.

Then, Lucifer and Lilith see Eve. In Lilith’s mind, Eve is another victim of Adam’s controlling behavior, like her. So, to help her out, she tells Lucifer to give Eve The Fruit of Knowledge. Luci agrees, and shows Eve the apple.

Eve gets really enthusiastic, and despite Adam’s warnings, her curiosity got the best of her, and eats the Apple.

When Adam finds her, it’s already too late, Eve already ate the apple. Adam would be mortified to not only seeing Eve eating the apple, but also seeing his first wife, Lilith, and Lucifer. Eve immediately realized her grave mistake, but then basically, the roots of sin would reach earth and humanity as a whole, and from there, God would tell her that she’s banished from Eden and she falls down to earth… but then realizes.. that Adam fell with her.. even is he hasn’t ate the apple, he still decided to fall with her.

After Adam and Eve have fallen from Eden, they pretty much had to struggle to survive and it wasn’t easy. They had to actually hunt down for food, even killing some animals in the process unwillingly. Eve would start to become really bitter and cold with him. Adam also noticed this, but not wanting to lose Eve like he lost Lilith, he wouldn’t confront her like he did with her. But eventually, she leaves him aswell. Adam would desperately try to find her to no avail. He would start breaking down, his world would start spinning. Feeling as if.. as if he wasn’t good enough for anything… for ANYBODY… that he’s worthless… and has no purpose. Eventually he would die because of starvation and grief…

Then.. he wakes up to see that he’s… in the middle of nowhere. He notices that now, he has golden-like wings and a halo on top of his head. A tall silhouette would appear, revealing to be none other than “Sera”.

Obviously, Adam would be cautious at first, but the Seraphim would tell him: “Greetings, The First Man. I’m Sera, the High Seraphim. Congratulations for being the first human soul to arrive up in heaven!”

Adam would be surprised, but then ask: “Huh?.. wha?..But, what I am doing here..?”

Sera: “I’ll show you, follow me.”

Adam still being gullible as.. heaven? (PUN) would follow Sera, all the way to a… room. Then, Sera would show him his robes and his, uh, exorcist army (that just *POOF*, appeared just for his role), but.. most importantly.. his LED mask.

Sera: “You are now promoted as the Leader of the Exorcists, Adam.”

Adam would put on the robes, still not really knowing what’s going on, but he just accepted it. Then, Sera would explain to him in more details about what he’s supposed to do in his specific role (basically saying that he has a harem army of killing machines, that kill Lucifer’s and Lilith’s citizens [sinners] every year to quote on quote ‘protect heaven’, but saying it in a splendid way)

And.. this made Adam feel.. absolutely empowered, being able to take revenge on Lilith and Lucifer by exterminating sinners in hell every year, …and.. in his own twisted sense of mind.. he was able to have a purpose again…right? He eagerly puts the mask on, without even questioning whether this was even right or not, for he doesn’t even know the difference between right and wrong. (Nightmare moon phase coming up rq)

And because he felt.. like he had a purpose again, thinking that.. maybe he still had importance to someone or something, he truly respected Sera, and never even DARED to question Heaven.. bc thats basically his purpose.. and if he questioned it, its kinda game over.

The kinda disturbing part about this is that, if he didn’t eat the apple, that would mean he doesn’t have free will. Which basically, he didn’t even choose to do this kind of thing, he just went to heaven by default and becomes the leader bc ‘he dah first man’ without him actually having any kind of saying to this. Kinda like a puppet on strings, if you think about it. (but it’s a game theory so i digress)

Also like, considering that angels and winners probably just showered him with blind praise, not even really addressing his actual issues, so basically, his deep emotional wounds barely got any kind of healing (if not even more), and his narcissism (being his possible coping mechanism after just drowning in negative emotions for so long bc heaven doesn’t even really care for him that much) continued to grow stronger and stronger, until it was basically his other identity. Basically kinda like Nightmare moon, where Luna basically drowned in resentment and became Nightmare moon, Adam drowns in the negative emotions of “not being good enough”, so he creates some kind of ‘shield’ to protect himself from ever getting hurt deeply again.

I remember when I watched JaidenAnimations video: Why I don’t have a “face reveal”. That video alone.. it basically made me realize that people could be struggling without even having the slightest realization of what’s going on. This also reminded me of Adam, then I thought that.. maybe,.. maybe Adam also feels kinda the same way as Jaiden, lemme explain further:

So, in JaidenAnimations video, she basically explains on how her standards became so high that she was TERRIFIED of ever having a face reveal bc she had a deep fear of disappointing everyone around her. (I still thank u Jaiden, hope u doin well bro, i love ya 👍👍)

There could be a possibility that, Adam may have had such high standards for how he needed to look, since he didn’t really looked like other angels, he just looked like a normal guy, that it became an insecurity for him and he basically just hides his face with his LED mask, terrified of what others may think of his actual face.

god, this took a whole DAY to write this and i may have still not executed my ideas well, or may have missed some ideas cause i forgot, but hey i tried, im gonna take a breath bro- *inhales oxigen tank intensely*

OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAZYYY YOO HOLD ON??? Dude omg yes yes i def agree he would fall WAYYYY harder for Eve than Lilith and I absolutely see what you mean that Adam and Lilith were like a forced marriage type situation cuz i mean yeah they literally did LOL. Adam for sure genuinely cared for Eve though, they had something a lot more special and I can only imagine how badly that must’ve hurt for Adam when she ate the apple and left after him begging her to NOT do that!

And yes yes YES him feeling empowered after becoming head of the exorcists being able to take revenge in that way like RAAAGHGHGEHH HELL YEAH!!

And I have ALWAYS been a huge believer in Adam using his narcissism as a coping mechanism from the very start. Like that just seems very on point and canon to me. Because this man is very clearly insecure, you can just tell. Especially with the whole mask thing, which I’ve actually brought up in the past. But yeah, this dude does not like people seeing his face. He def def DEF feels very average or even below that so he covers up for it through constantly flaunting about how great he is n shit so that nobody’ll suspect a thing.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ESSAY BTW I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT AND AGREEEE!

[mdhwrites]

Molly McGee is great... But

I absolutely see why it’s not a hit on social media. There’s two elements of it versus TOH and Amphibia that really highlight why I think Molly McGee is a great kid’s show, why I would personally want kids watching it over TOH but why Cartoon fandoms aren’t interested in it the same way without judging its quality. And I can do that with a funeral metaphor of all things. The first element is each show’s interest in morality and how well it delivers both the basic messages and the deeper messages that kid’s shows are meant to be doing. After all, they’re kids. If the parents aren’t spending time teaching them how behave, the show better be doing it itself. It’s why so many cartoons are effectively centered a single moral per segment/episode. The Owl House’s morals are the ones being mourned because most of them are six feet under in the grave that was just dug. It technically has them but has no interest in them and will actively undercut its own messages because parts of its main cast aren’t exactly good people and the show struggles with even using them once they do gain a mostly black and white morality. And frankly it’s just best if you don’t think about the morals of the show in the end. Meanwhile, Amphibia made the tombstone and Anne is working on finishing the little details on it that make it all the better. The picture on the front is enough to commemorate the dead though. Effectively: It not only manages straight forward morality but also is very sly in the elements that work to elevate some of the messages to an even better one than most kid’s shows manage, such as toxic relationships that start being hinted at as early as episode one. But you don’t NEED to be paying attention in order to get it. And then Molly is using the shovel she dug the grave with to smash someone in the face with her morality. It’s effective... But blunt. About as blunt as most kid’s shows commonly are which is part of the quality of the episodes can vary a bit because the less interesting the moral, or the less that needs to be said about it, the more the show struggles. But it ALWAYS gets its point across. And blunt morality is simply one of those things that kid’s shows are blasted for. People don’t like being talked down to and it’s seen as lesser art if a story is talking down but sometimes it’s better to be blunt than it is to risk missing the point. At least in my opinion. But the point stands that from an ‘adult’ perspective, it’s not a good thing so why share about how good the morality in Molly McGee is when it is genuinely good but people checking analytical boxes will dismiss it for being blunt? But... Let’s invert this with the second element: The progressive/subversive element. The ability to say that this show is unlike other cartoons. Eda has crashed the wake to tell you exactly, EXACTLY, how she’s the best and has fucked the L, G, B, T, Q, I, A and is working on the plus AS SHE SPEAKS. If Molly McGee is blunt with its morals, TOH is blunt in how special it is, regardless of the quality of those claims. Meanwhile, the lesbian mechanic couple from Amphibia are working on serving drinks and cooking the food that people are enjoying. They’re willing to be in the background but they are definitely and putting in the work. And Molly has dived into the ghost realm with Scratch to apologize profusely and fight the ghost council to make up for killing the dude with a shovel earlier. It has no interest in being anything other than what it is. And again, these aren’t value judgements. My blog has been dedicated to ripping apart ALL of TOH’s claims of being special because they allow me to talk about various of writing for MONTHS NOW. I’m personally surprised about it. Meanwhile, it’s not like being irreverent is perfect either. There are episodes that lose me some by being too childish or that I do think muddy its blunt message by trying WAY too hard in its over the top elements. But if we’re simply talking about what will make a story popular on Twitter... TOH’s approach is very effective. The show GIVES you the talking points in how to say it’s special where as Molly McGee has no interest in being special. It manages it sometimes, I think it is being an overlooked gem, but it’s not by design, it’s simply by being itself so the elements are easier to miss. And yes, in S2, I know Molly has a straight crush. The show hasn’t really shown an interest in championing LGBTQIA+ causes even though it’s not being negative towards them either. They just haven’t been mentioned, even as other minorities, and a CANON NUERODIVERGENT PERSON (autism specifically!) enters the cast. Buuuut shipping is a powerful force in fandom and while you absolutely can ship with the Molly McGee characters, it’s not really leaning into it like TOH specifically does to its detriment. I personally push that people check it out. I think it’s a show that deserves more eyes than it’s getting, especially as its ratings continue to crater so I’ll surprised if it gets a third season, if maybe pulled faster than that and see a real cancellation, but I also can’t tell you specifically why. It has a lot of great traits but nothing wholly unique to it. Though, I do want to shout out the animation. The concept is the GHOST and Molly McGee and they are not afraid to squash, stretch, etc. that Ghost in every way possible to sell what Scratch and every other ghost in the show is. It REALLY works with its concept and is not afraid of just getting bonkers with its animation to do it. And the human characters aren’t bad either. I ADORE Molly’s expressions especially. So yeah: Go watch The Ghost and Molly McGee. It’s not perfect but if you’re just looking for a good time, you’re not really going to be disappointed. Just make sure to let it be the kid’s show it is.

=======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[oc-x-canon-chaos]

Finally making an intro post. Hi

Sup. I’m a cringey little weirdo and I like Vocaloid, as you can tell from my profile picture. I am autistic and rely on imagining fictional characters to help me handle tough stuff in my life. Keep that in mind if you talk to me.

I do not tolerate ship discourse. I don’t care if you’re pro or anti, if I don’t like the ship, I’m blocking you. Im curating my experience, and my experience says no to basically every popular ship. If you don’t like that, this isn’t the blog for you, the only ship stuff I’m reblogging is me x my F/O. I think “pro ship” people are childish and immature, so if you unironically call yourself that, leave me alone and touch grass, but I’ve also had people say I’m a bad person for self shipping with a video game villain, so like. Extremists on either side DNI. I will block you. Fyi, I WILL block and report adults who self ship with minors. ESPECIALLY if the character isn’t aged up. I know there’s nuance to aging up characters if they naturally sue over the course of their story or whatever, but if the character is a kid and your s/I is an adult it grosses me out and it’s creepy af.

I also block people whose self ships are purposefully abusive. It feels like you’re romanticizing abuse and idc if it’s a coping mechanism, it makes me uncomfortable and I’m controlling MY experience. I’m fine with “sharing” F/Os, as long as you aren’t shaming my headcannons while you do it. I’m not gatekeeping Megurine Luka from everyone ever, I just don’t want to get harassed because you don’t like the pet name I think she’d use for me. Im a polyselfshipper, so all the fictional characters I’m “dating” are with me at the same time. Right now, I only have two romantic F/Os, and they aren’t dating each other. Most of my F/Os are platonic or familial. If I’m posting about an underage character, assume they’re my imaginary adopted child. I’m not being gross about them, I promise. I love interacting in reblog games! I might make some of my own!

My F/Os include:

Megurine Luka. She’s a romantic/queerplatonic partner of mine, and she’s very sweet. I imagine she’s with me to help when I’m in a crowded situation or experiencing anxiety— she is an idol, after all, and she’s used to crowds!

Springtrap. Yes, that Springtrap. He’s a queerplatonic/romantic partner. He’s here to make me feel like I have someone strong and scary on my side, to defend me. On the other side, I show him how to be a person again, by taking care of my needs. It’s a real “I can fix him” situation.

Hatsune Miku. She’s a platonic/best friend F/O. She helps with my self esteem, and makes me feel a loved and appreciated. Also, she’s Miku. There are no cons of imaginary best friend Miku.

Elizabeth Afton. Before anyone gets concerned, she is a familial F/O. I see her as my adopted kid. She helps me feel like I can protect and care for someone, and that I’m not irresponsible enough to let her get Circus Baby’d.

Withered Chica! She’s like my daughter and I love her so much. I think the official lore is that me and Springtrap adopted her (in my self ship AU, he’s separate from William, he just has his soul, so he wasn’t technically responsible for that happening to her)

Kaai Yuki. She’s another fictional adopted child of mine. I want to keep her safe!

Lacey from Lacey’s games. She’s another adopted kid F/O, I just want her to have a happy life, and imagine I rescued her and am helping her grow up and move through her trauma.

Mr. Plant and Argos from the World of Mr. Plant! They’re platonic/friend F/Os. I just like to imagine that I’m hanging out with them in the Void.

Gumi. she’s Gumi.

Howl (from howl’s moving castle). we have chemistry but we aren’t, like, together or anything, I just like thinking about him. I guess he’s my celebrity crush F/O!

There are a few others, but these are my main F/Os!

Some images that remind me of them ⬇️

[theuniverseawakens347]

You gotta be fucking kidding me. You paid ppl off to not say anything and then got Malcom and Alissa and Ian and julian and CASY to hack their accounts to take back the money put it in an account for me these last..til January and then act like nothing ever happend and I all of a sudden get married to Tristan’s and start my new life … and then basel pressed a lawsuit on her and Therese bc their accounts got drained by those dummies up there Alissa siae Malcom and Ian McDowell can ATest w Julian Harrell for crypto.. whatever day I wrote about her trying to “help me get my life together while AGAIN sending me mental warfar” and I went to the psych to talk and relieve my head …that’s the day basel called her WITH EVIDENCE and she DIDNT say anything to Howard.

And then the day I came over talking about I’m on 5 spiritual retreats they all lead to ONE PERSON ONLY AND OUR FAMILY BEING TIED TOGETHER AND KNOWING OUR SPIRITUAL TRUTH.. TRISTAN❤️❤️ ..THATS the day she then what …wanted to admit the bullshit to me but then found ways to further gas light me about what my ex’s had done and then build a case in HER HEAD why I was unfit STOOPID excetera to think neffi would come back bc Daniel said she attacked his dog and he had to put her down per Lee request …so then decided fuck I gotta build a FAKE MENTAL CASE ON CASHAY SO SHE DOESNT KNOW HER FAVORITE THING NEXT TO TRISTAN IN THE WORLD IS DEAD 🤯 bruh u gotta be so fucking for real. THIS WHAT I BEEN LIVING W?? Then put the fucking crazy rollercoaster of bullshit on me …cause what I put on the blog about AFTER THE PLAY OF 44 THANK I BRODY FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH TO ME THRU VIDEO CLIPS OF OUR ACTUAL HISTORY… 👽tology ..hit me with a “wise words of wisdom” the VERY NEXT MORNING AFTER READING MY BLOG WHILE DOING MY HAIR …then watched law abiding citizen knowing that was going to be her truth ..and the fucking psycho nurse my truth 🤯🤯🖕🏽🙂 ..reverse that. The right ones get it .. basically admit THRU MOVIES THIS SHIT IS REAL AND IM ADVENGING MY OWN FUCKING FAMILY FOR THEIR MURDER OF MADS DESTRUCTION ON HER HANDS …and then something happened w Vivicca me admitting Tristan and I been talking TELLATHICALLY .. told her I had a message / package from him cause she was suppose to turn me over to him by then and didn’t decided to send me to Vivicca to let someone else care for me while she cleaned up her fucking mess.. but me saying me n Tristan been in communication and HOWARD backing her up saying no you had not just what ..fuel for more fuck shit to prove I’m crazy and she’s sane 🤯🙂🖕🏽 that’s retarded as fuck Lee. I CLEARLY FUCKING KNOW / KNEW. And ur FURTHER helping me prove EVERYTHING I OUT ON THIS BLOG. Alissa morris did some fuck shit to Lee garlington and wants to get back at her…they in a weird tit for tat …Alissa got her government official computer breaking into our house and Alissa did all the nudes to the White House the day vivcca and I came over to speak to her and Howard ABOUT THE INDUSTRY TRACKING / SHIT BOYFRIENDS that came by way cause Lee + Alissa fucked all of them ..so ur telling me Alissa is a miniature terrorist w Aja and they’re getting back at u w Tony .. THIS AINT TRUE AT ALL U LYING ASS SHIT. U PAID THEM OFF TO DO THAT DUMB SHIT W MALCOM AND THEY ALL TOOK PARRT AND IAN WAS THERE TO KNOW THAT U THREATENED THEM ALL W BIG MURDR CHARGES OF PAST MURDSERS .. like wtf kind sense does that make Lee . UR A REALLY WDIRD FUCKING PERSON IN THE HEAD AND UR STILK HOLDING ME HOSTAGE BC U LEGITIMATELY WANT TO KILL ME OUT OF THE FACT THt u WONT BE THE LFIRST LADY IE KAMALA HARDIS .. sorry fucking the spelling. This sooooo childish u gotta be fucking kidding me … and yall nighas say i got adult issue ain’t no fucking way this what’s been going on in ur brain and u just been keeping cool.. or this bitch real life lost her rockers when I started awakening the first day she seen me at st Francis psychward .. the condition in which I was in.. this bitch really made At herself for failing as a fucking mother when she worked sooooo hard to prove she’s a good mother .. like what was the point of the planned breakin .. that’s what happens when u don’t know pol in yo circle .. u got extra weirdo ppl around u looking for a hand out u gon say someone Ian took over and did things his way to prove I’m not fucking crazy and ur a shitty ass fucking mom because nighas been watching this blog and watching me on my fucking growth ..so u know Howard paid these ppl off to stop the fuck shit but nighas h4_eazy still did the weird shit and stole my laptop til Ian told him put it back then stole Howards.. that had child pornography on it of me as a minor .. ALISSA IR FUCKING WEIRD U TEO CONSPIRING RN W MALCOM AND NICKI HOW GO GET OUT OF THIS SHIT INSTEAD OF ADMITTING YAL ON WEIRD SHIT .. as pissed off and upset as I am w Howard rn Zfor not STANDING ..

[hoxooster]

@littlebigadventure2 Actually, I never considered making a callout post. When DesBea was in the group, I wasn’t aware of her bullying other users (besides Red) or stalking anyone until well after she left lilspacewolfie’s Discord server. Beyond having to deal with her shoving her torture fics in everyone’s faces, and her going out of her way to push other people down, I had no thought towards making a post on her behavior. To be quite honest with you, I thought that she was just an adult who was being childish to gain attention, and that she only had beef with lilspacewolfie. Red wasn’t interested in making a callout post, because the bullying seemed like a minor issue, and I thought the same.

Then the callout post came out after I left the Red’s Ramblers Discord server.

Suddenly, behavior that I had reread in her messages back when I deleted them (in February of this year) from lilspacewolfie’s server, and that I was reminded about in conversations with others who experienced the same things whenever they interacted with her, made me realize the full scope of the worrying nature of her actions.

Because, I vividly remember how she went out of her way to pester Red. How she followed lilspacewolfie around in our stealth Payday 2 games without saying anything—in either voice or the text box—and would spam voice lines while standing directly behind her to make her scream in fear. And, how she also refused to stop when asked. No matter how many times the entreaties were repeated to her, or who was doing the asking—even if it was multiple people.

I remember how, in another time of us telling her to knock off her shitty behavior, she proclaimed in the Discord text chat—on a channel that was specifically designed for NSFW talk (mainly as a place to discuss fanfic ideas and bounce them off of the rest of the group)—that ‘anyone who writes NSFW in their fics are terrible people, and they’re disgusting.’ Red and I were taken aback by it for a while, then she asked for my help with addressing the issue, so I advised her to respond in a way that would basically tell DesBea, "Writing allows you to create whatever you want. People don't need permission to write about NSFW, or anything else for that matter, just because YOU don't like it. Just don't interact with it if it's so disgusting to you." DesBea tried to play it off with, "Well, I'm ace, so I don't understand it. Why do people do it? It's so weird. And I like reading anything and everything that has NaviMind in it." Red responded on her own with something along the lines of, "Yeah, but if you don't like to read NSFW, then just don't do it??? AO3 has tags on it so you can avoid things you don't like. Again, it's not hard." And this wasn’t the only time she used her, ‘I’m ace, but maybe not aro’ excuse to try to win or deflect her way out of arguments, but it was one of the more memorable ones. For all the wrong reasons.

I also remember how she would try to talk over other people in text conversations and make everything about her fics and ‘Bain is an alien’ and ‘the Payday gang are a hive mind’ and ‘imagine the guys feeling every bit of torture Bain went through with the Dentist’ and ‘this person’s writing sucks because it doesn’t include my head canons’ and so on.

But, as far as we knew at the time, this all only happened in the Red’s Ramblers Discord—and to people who seemed like they didn't really care too much about it. So, after she left, Red and I treated the whole situation as ‘DesBea was throwing a child’s temper tantrum, because she wasn’t getting the attention she wanted. Now she's out of here permanently. Good riddance.’

Then time passed, shit happened, and as I was leaving the server, I was deleting everything from people who had already left. I read back through her stuff and thought, “Yeesh, am I glad that she didn’t stick around.” Then I thought nothing else of it.

So, now we get back to the original callout post.

I wasn’t shocked about the content of anything that she wrote, but I was surprised by the targeted severity of it. And also the fact that she, as a ‘responsible’ adult, was knowingly being inappropriate with her messages that she was sending to a minor in that server.

Now, my mother is a middle school teacher, and I have helped her for 20 years with her work—this includes taking those ‘signs of abuse in children’, ‘bullying in the workplace’, and the ‘know that you’re expected to report bad actors on threat of legal action against you if you don’t’ tests for her, then giving her the rundown after (she’s bad with newer computers and programs). So, because of those, I know that you are, legally, NEVER ALLOWED to say what someone else does and does not consider as harassment towards themselves. I don't care if anyone tries to the pull the, 'yeah, it's only illegal where YOU are,' argument--it's a law that was put into place here because it's based on what should be common fuckin' courtesy, respect, and compassion afforded to and shared with victims in the aftermath of their trauma. If you want to consider the few messages you saw of hers as ‘gripes and misunderstandings’, then fine. If you want to interact with her, then knock yourself out. But, don’t, for one second, think that you can come in here and ‘weigh in’ on everything that has been said--which was at great personal embarrassment for some, and far too horrifying for others to even say anything beyond hinting at what transpired because of the trauma involved—and call any of it ‘not a big deal’.

In fact, since you didn’t reblog from the version of this post that has some concerning information on it, I’m going to assume that you didn’t see it, so here’s a photo of it:

On the original callout post, there's a reblog that's also from dracoleopardo that gives a bit more context on DesBea messaging at least one minor with inappropriate content. Which was followed up by lesbian-ferret mentioning that she had heard about accusations concerning DesBea going out of her way to pester the VAs—maybe with her torture fics or who-even-knows-what-else—which could have its own potential legal ramifications for DesBea, if they're true and the VAs decide to file anything against her.

So, there are people here—and possibly even persons who do/have work(ed) for Starbreeze—who have actively been hurt by her actions, some even to the point of attempting to do something irreversible to themselves. Is that what you would class as a ‘gripe’ or a ‘simple misunderstanding’?

Are muffy-official’s feelings about the whole DesBea situation that she experienced in their server not valid, because you, an admitted outsider to this issue, think that it’s ‘not a big deal’?

Is the original callout post ‘uncalled for’, because you don’t think that this was ‘worth talking about in an open forum’?

Is it ‘fearmongering’ to want to warn people—especially those that have been hurt by DesBea—about her multiple accounts that she has been known to use to block evade people who’ve blocked her on only one or a few of those accounts?

You asked me if I ‘thought of the consequences of my actions’ when I first made this addendum post.

I did.

I thought about the consequences of her messaging new people to our fandom to try and ingratiate herself upon them—which she did after an hour or so of the original callout post already being posted and it being spread around in reblogs by other people in the Payday fandom.

I thought about the consequences of her bullying more people in our fandom, especially those who are in terrible mental states or personal situations.

I thought about the consequences of her messaging any of the minors that are hanging out here in our corner of the fandom, and what any of those messages might contain.

I thought about the consequences of her continuing to stalk people in our fandom under her myriad of usernames, and none of them any the wiser about it or able to protect themselves.

I thought about the consequences of anyone in our fandom not being presented with all of this information, and thus being unable to react in an informed way if she tried to message or @ them or comment on their posts in the future.

And I also thought about the consequences her actions would have on her life on the internet, if she kept being allowed to behave and conduct herself around here in the ways that she has been.

But, we have to give her a pass, right? Because she’s ‘mentally unwell’—despite the fact that she continually refuses professional help. Or, because ‘she’s being childish for attention’—despite the fact that she’s an adult and she does know better. Or because it was ‘all just a misunderstanding’—despite the fact that she was bullying people almost to the point of harming themselves, and was knowingly being inappropriate in her messages to at least one minor.

I thought about the consequences a lot. I thought about how her actions and my own addendum post to the original callout post could effect and affect everyone in the Payday fandom. And, yes, I even thought about it in regards to Tumblr’s ToS.

So, while, yes, my post is targeted in the sense that it’s focused on DesBea and the accounts of hers that I’m aware of, it is not considered harassment under Tumblr’s definition in their ToS. This is because I’m actively calling for people to make their own decisions on whether or not they wish to block her, and I’m reminding them to not harass her. Multiple times. If you want to consider all of our efforts to try and warn people, while still reminding people to leave DesBea alone—despite how emotional our replies might have gotten and how many swear words have been thrown around--as harassment, then fine. Block me. Block all of us. Block everyone of us who created the posts, and every last person who reblogged it to signal boost it, so more people in our corner of the internet could see it.

I refuse to see any part of this as a 'non-issue' or as 'fearmongering'. DesBea has hurt multiple people in the Payday fandom in multiple ways in multiple places under multiple names. There are quite a few screenshots that have been provided as evidence to her behavior, and anecdotes from people in our fandom who've never interacted with each other before—all of whom are saying the same things about how she acted around them. If that's not what you consider as a 'good enough cause to make a callout post', then I don't know what to tell ya, hoss.

Do as you will.

On the DesBea situation:

I would've added my thoughts to the original post, but as I am not a part of their Discord server, I didn't think that that was any bit appropriate. However, I wanted to share some of my own personal experiences with her, so that y'all can see that her behavior in their server is a continuing pattern--I don't have pictures of what she said as proof, sadly, but I will explain why.

I'm also gonna slap this under a Read More. I apologize for its length, but the original callout post should be enough of an explanation as to why this post needs to be as long as it is.

And, as a quick aside, if any of you wish to completely block DesBea, NOT HARASS HER OR FEED INTO HER BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY, be aware that her usernames are:

commence-screaming

des-paa-cee-toeee

pd3thoughts

If any of you know of any more, please tell me, and I will update this post. I don't want to be around her anymore than most people who've also interacted with her do.

About 2 years ago, I was invited to lilspacewolfie's server, Red's Ramblers, and I very quickly became a moderator there. Over time some people joined and a few left, but Ramblers remained stable through it all. DesBea joined later on into the server's lifespan, was around for awhile, said some nasty things, was given a warning (in the general), and just left without saying anything one day. After reading the screenshots in the callout post, I'm actually quite surprised by how much of a fit she threw in her efforts to make you guys apologize to her. Much like in the original post, with her gone from the server, things improved for everyone else, but the whole ordeal was rather confusing for all of us, in the aftermath.

See, DesBea was trying to be just as harmful in Ramblers, but it never really went anywhere.

Her hateful and self-pitying tendencies were the same around us as it was in their server. She really loved to talk shit about Yadoking and her writing--she would do this both in passing on random posts in the server, and while some of us were in-call when we'd play Payday 2 together as a group. It never smacked of genuine criticism for Yado's writing ability or style, as she only ever used childish language when doing it, and she would always do it right before she would try to push her own ideas and fics onto any of us who were online at the time. She was even trying to bully lilspacewolfie--which I will go more into later--over the tiniest of things. DesBea, in all of her posts, was either pushing someone else down, trying to make us all read about her rather disturbing fic ideas or headcanons, or trying to make herself look like the victim by claiming that she 'had bad experiences with abuse in the past' and that her 'PTSD was triggered over something someone in Ramblers had said' when we were trying to halt her bullshit.

It was all very aggravating to deal with, to say the least, but it also didn't have very much staying power, since most of us were just ignoring her in the server. And I do mean that, as most of the users in the Ramblers Discord server refused to interact with her posts over time, and people usually ignored her whenever she tried to insert herself into their conversations. It's probably why she left without much of a fight when lilspacewolfie posted "If you're being an asshole in this server, you better stop that shit right now" in the general chat. (That's not what she said, but y'all get the jist.)

Now, as for her bullying behavior in the server, I can't say for certain if she was targeting anyone besides lilspacewolfie (and badmouthing Yado from time to time, who wasn't even in the server), as I'm not a very outgoing or talkative individual. Despite the length of this post, I'm naturally quite taciturn, and even though I was a moderator in Ramblers, nobody in the server ever messaged me about any issues that they were having with anyone. But, I can say with accuracy that DesBea would go out of her way to harass lilspacewolfie--the creator and owner of the Red's Ramblers Discord server. Whenever she would join calls while we were playing together (but she was just watching from the server), she would only ever type in the voice chat channel, where she would wax poetic about her own fics and get rather offended that 'lilspacewolfie was intentionally ignoring her'. If we were playing a game of Payday 2 with her, DesBea would intentionally follow lilspacewolfie around as a character that she didn't particularly care for and spam callouts to scare and irritate her. And, when another user in the server was having an issue that caused them a lot of distress and made them go quiet for awhile (which had nothing to do with anyone or anything in Ramblers, when they were asked about it), DesBea tried to blame lilspacewolfie for it based on a lighthearted joke that she had made that dogged on Houston. So, not only was she trying to harass lilspacewolfie, but she was actively trying to turn others in the server against the owner of the Discord, as if she could muscle her out by making her out to be a villain.

Over a joke about a FICTIONAL character.

Because she started insinuating that lilspacewolfie had caused another user to 'go into a depressive spiral, and chased them away from the server with her insensitive comments about Houston', I got involved to shut that shit down. DesBea was always weirdly attached to me, because she had DM'd me a few times on Tumblr in the past. I can only guess that she thought that these few smatterings of messages made me her friend, and since, apparently, some people here think of me as being "Mr. John Payday", she figured that she could use me as an intimidating wall to hide behind whenever she was called out on her bullshit.

She was wrong.

After a while of still trying to get others in the server to hate lilspacewolfie for 'being mean to one of the other users in the server'--who ended up coming back once their mental health had improved, by the way--she finally left after the "Stop being a dick" post, and it took us a couple days to notice. So, all-in-all, it was a very weird and irritating experience, but, in this context, it shows a worrying trend of behavior that she ended up spreading to other servers.

Now, like I kind of glossed over earlier, I WAS a moderator in Red's Ramblers. (I ended up leaving the server last month due to personal reasons that're not germane to this situation, and I have no desire to talk about it on this forum.) As I was still a mod before I left, I took the time to delete every post and reaction made by people who were no longer in the server--this amounted to 7 people, DesBea included. So, all of her posts that I could've screencapped as evidence are gone, and even if they were still there, I wouldn't have access to them anymore, anyway. In fact, the only thing that I have left is this picture I took of my response to her whole "You're a bad person for hating Houston" spiel that she was going on and on about:

(I censored this to give some privacy to the person who DesBea tried to use as a cudgel to smack lilspacewolfie with blame for their condition at the time. Even though most people here probably won't recognize them from their in-server nickname, I didn't want to take any chances.)

But, anyway, as you have read from the callout post and these personal anecdotes that I have provided, her behavior in their server was an unsurprising, but also a very worrying trend that has effected at least 2 Discord servers and a good chunk of some of the people who were or still are in the Payday fandom.

If anything that y'all have read over these posts has angered any of y'all to the point of harassing her, PLEASE DON'T. Don't send her hate--anonymously or not. Don't engage with her. Just block her and make sure that others in the fandom are aware of her behavior, so they can avoid her if they wish to as well.

And, again, please tell me if she's operating under any usernames other than the ones I've listed. I was tired of her bullshit a long time ago, and I have no desire to entertain her further under yet another pseudonym.

[kojinnie]

Why you should NOT date AOT boys...

Headcanon on what kind of headache you're bound for when dating the AOT boys, and why I advise you NOT to date them! Enjoy, loves!

levi - eren - armin - reiner

part two here | erwin - zeke - jean - connie

— LEVI

He's an incredible man with a lot of talents and he'd be doing real good at his job, that dating him would give you a huge sense of pride. However, this man suffers from being emotionally constipated. He'd always keep you in the fine line of "are we or are we not?", even though you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. He’d never say “I love you” or any type of flashy display of affection. His love language is acts of service and quality time, so if you’re the type to wanting outward reassurance of how someone feels about you, Levi’s not gonna be the person to give you that. 

This problem stems from his deep, unresolved insecurity about the nature of relationship. It’s not just the “Am I good enough?”, he genuinely thinks that he is not a good person, and thus the inherent belief that everybody will abandon him in the end  — something he picks up from his traumatic childhood. He’s wary about establishing relationship because he’s afraid to succumb into his own feelings and vulnerability. He fears at certain point he has to feel and suffer the emotional consequence of being left by someone he cares for. He dreads the idea of getting caught off-guard with being fragile.

You gotta be extremely patient and understanding when it comes to Levi, the reassurance needs to come from you, and frequently too. Bluntly saying, “I’ll stick around” or “I’ll accept your shortcoming” is really soothing for Levi, because although he never shows it, he really thinks he does not deserve you.

— EREN

If you wanna be frustrated in a relationship where you constantly feel like you’re in an endless coaster, then dating Eren gotta be your poison. Sure the honeymoon phase was intoxicating, sure he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the world. The morning text, the playful neck peck out in the public, the butterflies you feel in your tummy when you catch him staring at you even from afar with those oh so enthralling green eyes. But once the honeymoon phase over, Eren is quick to get bored. Especially if you’re an unproblematic, matter-of-fact type of person. Eren likes to fight, he gets thrilled by it, and he’s high with the rush of adrenaline. He likes it if you’re jealous, if you sulk, if you argue. He likes you to be ‘childish’ because then he gets to be the adult, the savior, the knight in shining armor. It grinds his gears. If you’re unfazed by his antics, if you’re easy to forgive, if you’re chill, Eren will think that you’re not really into him, and will exit the closest door out before his ego gets bruised even further.

Eren is sort of babied by people around him – his parents, his friends, and constantly being compared to his older brother doesn’t help either. He realizes that he got saved a lot of times by a lot of people. And this creates a deeply rooted insecurity with him that turns into an incessant impostor syndrome. The constant thought of not being good enough and the idea that all the achievement he’s ever got was the result of someone else’s help really crush him. You can shower him with praises and reassurance, but he would completely dismiss it, because he thinks your compliments are not based on objective views and that he does not deserve it. He painfully seeks for approval from any authority figure that (he thinks) does not have any emotional connection with him. And it can be really hurtful when he constantly dismisses your sincere compliments while desperately chasing from others who don’t care about him.

— ARMIN

It’s really hard to hate Armin. He’s a really nice man through and through, but what is his strength can also be his deepest weakness. He’s too nice and unsure about a lot of things. He knows he is knowledgeable, but he often doubts himself for being too ‘text-book smart’. Which is a valid cause, because at times he would get very oblivious to how relationship works, and treat feelings like it’s a quantifiable system. It will literally take years for him to finally get down and say how he feels about you, because all these times he was so busy filling the check-list in his mind to convince himself whether you truly like him or not, even though you couldn’t be any clearer with your intention towards him.

He is perceptive with what you think and how you feel, unfortunately this does not materialize into any action as he doubts his own intuition when it comes to his significant other. He fears that his own sentimentality has affected his intuitive judgment and thus deems it invalid, which is completely untrue because every hunch he has about you has always been accurate! That’s just how much he understands and knows you from years of quietly observing and taking each of your word into account.

He really relies on you sitting him down and telling him in details how you feel and the things you expect from him. He will do it, in a flash with no hesitation, but really, he just needs that verbal affirmation that he is doing the things that you want, and it’s not just based on his assumption. So, if you like sweet surprises, impulsive dates and expect your significant other to read your mind, Armin might not be the person.

— REINER

Oh my, truthfully, he is such a sweetheart, and can be completely smitten for the entirety of his life if he has found that one person. However, it’s a treacherous road for both Reiner and you to get to that stage. Initially, when you start to get closer to him, he may seem rigid and uninterested. The first date you had with him probably went awkward and although you really liked him, you were pretty sure he didn’t like you back, until he texted you the morning after, asking for a second date. That’s basically how being with Reiner is, a series of you being sure that he feels nothing towards you, only for his following action to prove the otherwise. He is really awful in displaying his emotion, he tries to be stoic all the time, and it often frustrates you because you cannot really tell how he feels, and you fear that you might have hurt him without realizing.

He may start to open up, only when you open up first about yourself. He thrives in romance with someone who he thinks shares his inner pain, and that’s very important for him, because he is always in a position where everyone expects him to be strong, and to have a significant other that understands his struggle is all he wants. But this gets hard for you, because sometimes Reiner’s sadness can be quite extreme and you cannot match that. Once Reiner realizes that you’re not on the same boat, he may become withdrawn, as he thinks he’s a burden and inadequate for you, and may end up self-sabotaging the whole relationship he has with you.

Although he does not like to admit it, but Reiner often slips into his sadness too deep, that it almost seems like he victimizes himself with his self-hatred. He will be the one to say stupid shit like, “You deserve someone better.” Or “I cannot make you happy.” When in fact you are perfectly willing to be with him all the way through.

With Reiner, you gotta be the bigger person, with bigger gestures and bigger patience. It’s because Reiner needs an anchor and a figure to lean on. In returns he would be the best lover that you will ever have for he is selfless and will be helplessly devoted to you.

Racking my brain writing for the rest of the boys (Erwin, Jean, Connie, Pocko) because they're the ones we SHOULD date.

Update: Thanks thanks thanks for everyone who read this! I received a lot of love and you dunno how much this encourages me to keep going. Anyway, 2 things:

- My Masterlist

- Talk to meeee ♡

[ON-GOING REQUEST EVENT]: Kojinnie's 200 Followers Celebration - 24/7 Writing Event

[idontlikeem]

Well maybe it’s because you and your group of friends are domineering and annoying, so…

Hi, anon! Interesting you couldn’t say this with your name attached.

I’m a little confused by this, not gonna lie. How, exactly, am I “domineering and annoying”? I have a queue set to post twice a day and I contribute to the liveblog probably less frequently than other posters. I answer a tiny fraction of the asks I’m sent and I rarely put stuff in player tags because I don’t want to flood them.

Nobody is making anyone follow me or reblog my stuff. This is a community in which people can interact with whoever they want—or at least that’s what I thought it was meant to be. Am I supposed to not post at all? Tell people to not reblog from me? Not talk to people? Is there some arbitrary test I need to pass before I’m allowed to just exist on my blog? I wasn’t aware I needed to get permission to contribute to a fandom; who was I supposed to check in with before I started posting?

I would really, really love some concrete examples of how I’m “domineering”. What is it I’m doing that’s bending people to act how I think they should?

It’s childish to send shit like this on anon, just as it was childish last summer to spread shit about my friends and me to other blogs in an effort to get us to leave because we had the audacity to make a fest surrounding a topic we were interested in.

If you’re the same anon who sent the message to that other user that I got tagged in, you really need to find something better to do with your time instead of hate-reading my blog and keeping such a close watch on my friends. It’s creepy. Nobody is making you (or anyone else) follow me or look at my posts. You can even block me and then you’ll never see anything I post at all! It’s a simple process, I’ve done it myself many times.

Something you might not know about me is I love making friends. I will talk to basically anyone who messages me unless they’re rude. So, you might think this was a funny anonymous zinger to send to someone you don’t like (yet are very invested in keeping tabs on). But it’s not. I’m a person with feelings, and I’m not doing anything wrong by making posts on my own blog. What is it that you are getting out of sending shit like this to people? Does it make you feel good? If so, why? Getting a rush from being mean and hurtful to others is not normal.

The point of a fandom is community. It dies without that. You can curate your space to not see stuff you don’t like, but if people stop participating out of fear that there’s some arbitrary list of rules set by…someone, who even knows who…well, that’s how a fandom dies. Same if there’s some toxic person sending nasty messages to make themselves feel better. Fandoms require new people making new contributions; if you’re so annoyed by that concept to the point where you’re this hostile to others joining in, you’re gonna end up self-selecting until the fandom is gone.

I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to make posts on my own blog. If you have an actual problem with me, you can simply leave. Barring that, you can say it to my face, like an adult, and we can try to figure out why you hate me so fucking much when I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING.

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga p2

part 1 is here :3

this post includes more excruciatingly long paragraphs so grab urself something and enjoy LOL

chapter 40 

i know they’re not interacting in this panel but i still want to bring it up.  i’m gonna give some context to this scene in case someone needs to jog their memory.  so basically, mei’s ability to command crows is what allows the staff to observe the students from afar.  however, gojo notices that there’s lack of footage where yuuji is and asks mei why that’s so.  she tells him that they’re animals at the end of the day so she can’t control what they look at.  he doesn’t believe her so he asks her whose side she’s on (for yuuji’s execution vs against yuuji’s execution) to which she responds with, “whose side?  i’m on the side with money, of course.  there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money.”  in other words, she’ll always choose the side that offers her more money because she doesn’t care about how morally “correct” or “incorrect” something is.  it’s not worth fighting for a cause that doesn’t benefit her in the long run which is why she views things that are unable to be bought (friendships, relationships, favors) as useless - they can’t be exchanged for money.  it’s clear that gojo knows she’s not on his side because he replies with, “spoken from experience!” or “i wonder how much!” (translation varies).  he says it out loud to perhaps let gakuganji know that he’s onto him.  i find it interesting how utahime is in the panel as well with a “?” to express her confusion at his words.  let’s overthink dissect that.  why is she there in the first place? if the message was to let gakuganji know that gojo is aware of his ulterior motives then a panel with gakuganji and gojo would have sufficed.  why add utahime with a question mark? 

here’s a personal headcanon of mine that makes no absolute sense, but who cares? it makes me happy LOL.  so let’s examine the panel.  gojo’s face is more simplified and cartoonish with a grey background on top and some sort of white bubble surrounding the three characters.  gakuganji is staring at utahime and gojo.  in the official viz translation, he replies to mei with, “i wonder how much!”  

normal and logical explanation: shading the principal by asking out loud how much mei was paid by him to avoid monitoring yuuji.

gojohime brainrot explanation: 

mei: “there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money”

gojo: (in response) i wonder how much utahime’s love would cost if it did have a price.

utahime: ?

you’re probably thinking i’m delulu (true) BUT HEAR ME OUT.  IT WOULD SOMEWHAT MAKE SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT...

mei’s saying seems to be what she lives by.  relationships, love, friendships, etc. do not matter to her as this is evident when she ultimately abandons everyone in shibuya to escape to malaysia, selling all her stocks before japan’s economy goes down.  she doesn’t care about anyone else.  she even takes advantage of ui ui’s adoration for her.  she contrasts utahime.  utahime is loved by her students.  children, especially teenagers, are picky when it comes to choosing the adults they admire and respect.  while everyone trusts gojo, they do not respect him because of his childishness and overall absurdity.  it’s refreshing to see how they always call him an idiot or have a -_- face when he’s around.  when akutami says everyone absolutely adores utahime-sensei, it says a lot.  we haven’t seen her interact with her students all that much, but she’s obviously close to them because she’s frequently arguing with momo.  even a closed off person like mechamaru wanted to keep her away from danger.  she most certainly expresses a lot of concern and care for her students, and gojo and her students can pick up on this. 

i’ve talked about this in every post LOLOL but there’s a reason why he went to utahime first to help him investigate.  utahime is a loyal person through and through.  she would never do something that harms the students even if she was offered everything in the world.  she values relationships above everything else.  besides her concern for the students, how else was i able to come to this conclusion about her character?  well, she got shoko to stop smoking because she was worried about how it might damage her friend’s health.  from these two details, it’s obvious that she’s the complete opposite of mei.  

maybe that’s why he calls her weak.  she’s too selfless and compassionate in a world where every sorcerer is for themselves.  the world is cruel as a sorcerer.  no matter how hard you try to fight, in the end, you’ll always die alone.  remember his talk with megumi after the baseball game?  after witnessing megumi pull a sacrificial bunt to help his teammates advance, gojo has a talk with megumi about his attitude and potential.  he says that being selfless and caring about others is not a bad thing, but in a world like this, where people always die alone, he is wasting his potential by being concerned with others.  it’s okay to be selfish.  this is why we see fierce independence in a lot of the sorcerers like mei, nanami, and gojo.  they each have their own reasons as to why they work alone, but it’s still a common characteristic.  i feel like utahime doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body.  i speculate that her selflessness is the exact reason why she is being held back.  during her mission to exorcise a grade 1 spirit by herself, the final task before being promoted to grade 1, she likely got distracted trying to help civilians out of danger and failed her mission.  he’s right when he says she doesn’t have the guts to be the traitor, utahime doesn’t have it in her to do something so boldly solely for her own benefit.  

after this long tangent, how does this relate to your headcanon, ootahime?  

as you know, love is not transactional.  you can’t pay someone to love you.  what if gojo is asking himself how much it would cost to buy her love.  hence, her confusion because she is oblivious to what he really means.  it could be probable because gakuganji is observing not only gojo, but utahime as well.  so what gojo says must involve her too, right?  

or she could just be confused because his words seem out of place because she is unaware of what gakuganji is doing behind everyone’s back.  that explanation makes sense for viz’s official translation but it doesn’t make sense when he says, “spoken from experience!” because his words make sense in that context.  he’s basically saying that mei’s beliefs must be based on her past experiences so he understands why she feels this way.  that’s an appropriate response to mei’s statement so i don’t see why utahime would be confused by this.  unless i’m interpreting this whole scene completely wrong.  in that case, whoopsies!  

let me know if you’re confused because i’m willing to clarify.  idk why but i found this really difficult to explain.  maybe because i’m reaching so hard haha

chapter 40

he finds any way he can to tease her.  they seem like a married couple watching a movie or something.  does he take pride in being the only person she doesn’t get along with?  i mean, she says it herself so he is aware she thinks he’s annoying, but he keeps picking on her anyway.  he doesn’t even pick on his enemies this much LMAOOO i think the only other person he likes to make fun of is gakuganji but he does so because he doesn’t agree with his views.  with utahime it’s different.  he trusts her a lot and even looks out for her.  

chapter 44

why are there two separate instances of gakuganji observing utahime and gojo’s interactions from afar?  nah i’m just playing.  he’s just looking because he’s concerned she’ll run into the semi-grade 1 curse he had for yuuji.  OKAY BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING KINDA CUTE?  whenever utahime says something suddenly, he always has those 3 little triangles near his head.  it’s like he’s thinking, “oh!  utahime is speaking, i must listen <3″  look at his face too.  he’s looking at her like :O

this is also an example of her showcasing her concern for the students in front of gojo.  i feel like he questions why she’s so caring because if it were him, he would have left the student to figure it out themselves.  i really wonder how she would react if he answered her truthfully when she asked what he’d do if she were the traitor.  

chapter 45

there’s not much to say here...they’re just cute.  i know it’ll never happen but i’d like to see them fight side by side one day.  i’m aware that gojo works best alone but i just want to see how they’d work together, okay? 😔

chapter 45

see the little triangles on his head again?  UGH SO CUTE.  

chapter 45

IS THIS NOT INTENTIONAL???  they share the same thoughts.  he even finished her thought.  mannnnnnnnnnnnn what is akutami doing?  giving us false hope and stripping it away just for fun?  making them work so well together for what??

chapter 52

cute how he looks out for her.  i have nothing more to say LOL

chapter 53

notice how they’re sitting across from each other?  HEHE

chapter 53

yet another instance of her caring for her students in front of gojo.  in the anime she has the cutest expression when she says she’s glad the students are safe.  i bet gojo saw that too.  i also bet that she looks prettier from his point of view.

extra

from the manga and light novels, gojo and utahime are the ones that talk about sports the most.  he most definitely chose baseball to cheer her up.  it’s not a coincidence people!  

--

i feel like i had a lot more to say but i completely lost my train of thought while writing this, especially with chapter 40. i’m once again writing this at 4 in the morning LOL........  please please please add on or share your thoughts!  thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes.  

[basicallyahedgehog]

Please note this is coming from my (probably limited) knowledge and I’m sure people would know much more. But I’m basing this 1. On my own audhd experience 2. Reading I’ve done for myself (would highly recommend unmasking autism by Dr Devon Price, it’s available as an audiobook on Spotify, free if you have premium, and very easy to listen to - as someone who struggles with audiobooks). 3. My mum is an occupational therapist who has been working with neurodivergent kids for thirty years and 4. I’m also an OT, and while I work in aged care, I did a lot of paeds subjects and placement during uni.

For some autistics their autism comes along with intellectual impairment. Which is basically just an IQ below a cut off point that I can’t remember off the top of my head. This is where you might hear people say “they have the thinking level of a five year old.” Which I’ve come to understand basically just means that that person has difficulty understanding/learning concepts and tasks beyond what is expected of a neurotypical five year old. But that’s also very narrow thinking, and certainly you can have someone who is more “progressed” in one area and less in others.

In “Unmasking Autism” Dr Price talks about how we now know that certain parts of the autistic brain take longer to develop than neurotypicals. Some research has found that by about 30 neurodivergent brains have “caught up” to neurotypical brains in terms of social convention, for example. This is definitely not true for all autistics, but it was an interesting piece of information I hadn’t come across before.

In my own personal experience, I think there’s an element of neurotypical people shedding certain “childish” interests or behaviours due to societal expectation that we as autistics - and other neurodivergents- don’t necessarily adhere to. If I’ve been interested in something since I was five and it still interests me, I’m not going to stop liking it just because I’m not five anymore. While some children progress from dressing up dolls and their dollhouses to an interest in fashion and decorating their room, I just kept playing with my dolls. Sure, I added in new things like collecting miniature furniture and learning to make tiny plates and foods from polymer clay, but it was still all about my dolls.

There’s also something called age regression, which I don’t have personal experience of, but I know it can be common among people with various neurodivergencies. This may be more along the lines of what you were referring to as being in a “childlike state”. I’ve certainly had experience with it professionally - much of my work is with older adults with dementia, and age regression happens a lot. Sometimes to childhood, other times to younger adulthood, maybe as a young adult or a parent. It’s often for one of two reasons - they regress to an age/place where they felt safe (eg they are hungry, mum used to feed them good food, they regress to a childlike state and start looking for mum) or that gave them a defined role. I’ve worked with people who believe they’re back working as Headmaster at a school, or need to pick up their kids.

Having said all the above, sometimes neurotypical people will tell us we are “acting like children” merely because we are doing something that they don’t see as being appropriate for that setting. There seems to be this unspoken rule that with age comes a level of control and dignity, and if someone isn’t demonstrating that “correctly” then they haven’t “grown up”.

As I see it, there’s nothing inherently wrong with acting and/or thinking like a child. These behaviours and interests make us happy, help us regulate, and can even help keep us safe. There are certain behaviours and interests that will always get us critiqued by neurotypicals, but that doesn’t make them wrong.

If something brings you joy or safety or satisfaction, then it doesn’t matter what age it’s associated with.

@my-autism-adhd-blog

I wanted to ask you a question but your submissions are closed on my end (100% understandable, things overwhelm easily)

So i thought i'd make a post that you, to clarify aren't obligated to respond to, and my intent is simply to as a question.

I recall being told that the reason i "act less like my age and often act like a child rather than an adult" is because of my autism. I don't fully recall that that was even right and was just a statement made to try and explain something that might not even correlate with it. But it got me thinking.

Does autism sometimes affect adults and the way they act regarding their age?

For example, being extremely childish compared to your age and the stereotypical way your age group should act and finding it extremely difficult to find friends of your own age, leading you to try and spend time online to find people you can fully relate to and not be alienated by?

An example is, my mother took me to the theatre at some point, it was the pantomime (i love them) they're performed around christmas time and a little but after christmas. I love pantomimes because i love the theatre a lot. When i was there, i was unable to suppress my stims, which led to my mom telling me to stop. I fully recall being in a very childlike state during the whole thing and this has been a reocurring things with things i enjoy and even things i dislike.

I can't fully explain it, but i'd appreciate an answer from you, or anyone if possible 👍

[nhinxsworld]

I love pet play so here is me doing pet play scenrios ♡♡♡♡ just some thoughts what pet i think they would have and what they'd do uwu

my list!

Characters: Gojo Satoru x reader ; Megumi Fushiguro x reader ; Toji Fushiguro x reader ; Naoya Zenin x reader and Itadori Yuji x reader

warning: nsfw ; petplay ; dom/sub ; humiliation ; dumbification and idk???

Gojo Satoru

He peaks as the soft/slutty bunny type of guy or a cunning fox

Honestly his white hair just gives me snow bunny vibes, but any kind of bunny would be cool with him.

On one side he likes to corrupt the innocent looking ones, cute little bunnies who get feral horny with him. Pretty costumized bunny ears for his pet, he can afford it. Pretty pillow princesses he fucks stupid, in any position, but it's a plus if he can see that soft pretty tail.

Or maybe just the classic playboy bunny type, model body. Curvy, pretty ones, the nice lips, nice everything with those skin tight skimpy bunny suits. Fishnet or nylon doesn't matter, he'll rip them apart, he loves that clean sexy look, before he messes everything up.

Why fox? He just peaks me as somewhat you know special out of the usual. Foxes are rather rare for pet play since they aren't the average pet either. Though I can imagine a pretty fox, who would tease him back and is playful would keep him interested. He just might put a collar on you and tugs you around for the fun of it.

He thrives at any title master??? fuck yes baby push his ego. Sir??? hell yeah push his authority might as well call him sensei. daddy?? sure as classic he'll call you little one and other sweet nicknames

Really depends on his mood that day or what you'd want him to do, he can do anything, if you're a good pet for him he'll praise you, if you want to be degraded sure he'll call you his slut and spits on your face.

You just want to fuck ? Sure, he'll fuck you stupid and breeds your bunny/fox hole/cunt. You want him to actually treat you like a pet?? Yeah sure he'll put down a water bowl and all that shit down for you to use, he'll give you hella foreplay.

jokes about animal abuse in the end lol

Megumi Fushiguro

He is my baby, but if I had to pick for him? I'd just say puppy's. Megumi is a confirmed dog person, so yep I think he'd like obedient puppy's. Probably blushes when you put on the ears and the tail, at first he was like nah he isn't into it, but now it gets his dick hard.

He is very soft and sweet, so I can imagine that he'd get along with a playful and obedient puppy's. Loves it when the soft fur of your tail brushes against his skin and how the cute puppy ears peak through your hair. He'll praise you and would call you his good pet as he fucks on all fours. Probably wouldn't tug too much on your collar and leash, it just looks pretty on you.

Would get so flustered at the beginning if you want to call him titles, even if his name is girly, he'd probably still likes the intimacy when you call him by his name between titles.

probably thinks it's a bit weird at first, but you can ease him into it, and he'll tell you what he likes or and what he doesn't like

Toji Fushiguro

I'd just like to think the bias towards dogs runs in the family if not I think he's just the basic cat type same shit but calls you kitty

unlike Megumi, Toji isn't soft. He probably wouldn't care if you'd wear gear or not, actually he might tease and bully you, if you want to wear pretty puppy ears and a tail. Would call you slutty and weird, but he'd still fuck you. He is probably older so he'd just might call you childish and the whole 'You want to be a what kid??' Other than that he wouldn't always call you a good puppy, he'd call you his dumb fucking mutt. Just lives to degrade you and call you stupid. If you want to wear a collar and leash he'll fucking yank you with it, piss him off, and he will choke you with it.

He will literally choke you when you call him daddy. It's unknown of whether he likes or he hates it, he'd just allow it. Sir might be too formal for him a lot of people call him that probably since he is a bit older and works at weird places where he doesn't give his name often. Probably doesn't like master as it might be too touchy towards his family issues back when he was a Zenin.

If it's the cat type he probably is an absolute brat tamer, if you're an egoistic little kitty you're fucked. Get down on your knees for him, he'll fuck your throat until you cry. Be a good kitty for daddy, milk him. Behave and he just might help your little drenching pussy out.

He is just here to fuck, but he would humor you a bit with dirty talk, if you do well, and he likes you. Otherwise nah he wouldn't really go deep into petplay. He is an adult man who was married to what it seems a very normal women so he probably doesn't want to do something super wild or new.

Naoya Zenin

hmmmm I think it's a bit difficult because one dogs are obedient, but they're also often considered dirty mutts I feel like he'd rather like something expensive like one of those white beautiful fur blue eye cats (lmaoo gojo) though cats are seen as arrogant, and he wants his to submit to him fully

probably looks and acting wise he'd like cats but he'd go for dogs too

He just seems like the type to degrade you, and it's easier to insult a dog than a cat y'know?

LMAOO FORGET THE GEAR WITH HIM you won't ever get to ask him to put on ears. He is a traditional man, the max he'd put on you is a collar. I just don't see him wanting to take you on your suggestions and I don't see him suggesting it himself.

If you're very, very, very well-behaved he just might call you a good dog. Yep, don't expect him to call you something cute like puppy. Probably the type to not let you wear any clothes, but your collar. Makes you crawl around with a leash attached, he wants to see you suffer, he wants to dehumanize you. He fucking owns you, he does whatever he wants with you. You're here for his pleasure not yours and he gets off to you being embarrassed and humiliated.

Bark back and he'll put a muzzle on you.

Don't even hesitate to lick the floor he walks on, don't look at him, when he doesn't allow it. He will punish you upon misbehaving and his punishments are real torture.

With him, you need to be well-trained and groomed, a dirty disobedient pet isn't going to stay anywhere near him. Be a good pet, and he just might let you sleep next to his bed, if you do very well and present yourself well in front of his family he just might treat you well and allow you to sleep on the bed.

This isn't pet-play to him he is just an asshole. If he makes you eat face first from a bowl like a dog, he does it to humiliate and laugh at you. Calls you pathetic.

Yuji Itadori

lmaooo its said he is mixed between dogs and cats, but I think he'd have a cat lean when it comes to pet-play

it's just the whole catgirl/catboy/catenby on the internet for him, he thinks cat ears are cute

would totally be exited if you wanted to wear cat ears and tail, he'd just be fascinated about them for while, thinks it's super cute nothing weird at all

hell he'd love it if you wore the cat ears outside bedroom activities too

Would coo and praise you, goes pspsp and all the shit like you're a real cat

wholesome sex but would get horny af if you meow while he pounds you

absolutely mad horny when your collar jingles around while he fucks you, it's too cute

Thinks it's super fucking cute would totally be intrested to look further for fun, probably would platonically treat you as a pet too. Calls you kitty outside the bedroom.

Neck scratches !!

Calls you his pretty kitty, would be down to do anything.

He is your biggest simp :)